I find it very calming watching the rain outside and even more just walking in the rain. It seems like it rains more in May than it does in April (they should probably fix that rhyme then).
So I have been trying to memorize scripture verses so that I can use them for when things get difficult mostly but also for other reasons too. I have been practicing Psalm 86:11,12 for the last two weeks. That may seem long for some but for me, it takes a lot of repetition to memorize something so that I can think of it without having to read it first.
"11 Teach me your ways oh Lord that I may live according to your truth. Grant me purity of heart so that I may honor you. 12 With all my heart I will praise you oh Lord my God. I will give glory to your name, forever."
I have been trying to make that my prayer too, disecting each sentence and honestly reflecting on it instead of just reciting words. Its not easy thats for sure, but I guess its starting at the beginning. Learning what God's truth is and making it my lifestyle and to also have a pure heart (that contains a lot in it itself) is so difficult and so important. I am constantly reminding myself that what I say, do, and think needs to give glory to God and that what others think of me shouldn't take priority of what God thinks of me.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
ramblings from the heart
Several weeks ago a speaker in chapel talked about compassion. Honest compassion. And that hit me hard. Have I lost true compassion,that I feel sorry for homeless people, widowed people, orphans, and those who are ill but lack honest and true compassion? Did I ever have honest compassion in the first place; compassion that moved my heart which moved my hands to action (as a speaker said in chapel this week)? I dont know, I guess I have thought about that alot since then.
Last Tuesday night, there was an ice cream party at the youth ministry building on campus and one of the speakers for this week in chapel was there to hang out with us. Several people were asking him questions and one question was what can we do in our community to help those less fortunate since we dont see any homeless people. There is a mobile home community literally on the other side of the fence next to the youth ministry building. There is also another mobile home community on the other side of the lake. And I know I have driven by at least two more mobile home communities in the Warsaw area. I dont know the situations of those that live in the mobile home communities or if they are anything like the situations of the families that live in mobile homes back in Coal Valley, IL. Several times I have thought about going over there and talking to the people next to the youth min. building (literally our neighbors). The only thing holding me back: I do not know of anyone willing to go with me for safety reasons. I would be more than happy to go by myself, but I know that is not safe. On one occasion, my Break Out group needed to do a service project in the fall, I suggested giving candy or some form of treat or service to the people in the mobile homes; I was turned down instantly. There are many great opportunities to serve in this area: tutoring, soup kitchens, community projects, service projects, disaster relief helping, and many others. I dont know, maybe I am wrong (I hope I am wrong) but it seems like the people in the Mobile Communities might be left out. Maybe its just because I got to work in the mobile community a couple years ago, other wise I probably wouldn't be noticing right now.
I was at WalMart last night getting groceries. I was looking at the soup and a lady behind me asked if I was shopping for a family or for myself. I said I was just a college student shopping for myself. We had a small conversation about me going to Grace and how she has a child that lives near Grace now. We ended up talking about how expensive food is now days. She mentioned that they didn't have food last week; she got $200 from her husband tonight so she could get groceries. She mentioned that she has five kids and two of them live out of the house. She motioned to her cart and it was competely full with soup cans and other groceries: all of that so far came to about $96 and she still needed to get some kind of meat. Her daughter came over and I talked to her a little bit (she had gone to a concert that she won tickets for on the radio, and she was pretty excited about that).
Made me think about all of those huge, beautiful mansions that are over in Winona Lake, Warsaw, and just past Grace College. Those huge houses out by the golf courses or those houses that over-look the lake.
There is one housing division with gorgeous houses that over-look Winona Lake and some of those houses have their backs to some kind of woods. On the other side of those woods, tucked away where no one can see is a mobile home community that seems to flood very easily.
i guess these are just some of the ramblings inside of my heart & head.
Last Tuesday night, there was an ice cream party at the youth ministry building on campus and one of the speakers for this week in chapel was there to hang out with us. Several people were asking him questions and one question was what can we do in our community to help those less fortunate since we dont see any homeless people. There is a mobile home community literally on the other side of the fence next to the youth ministry building. There is also another mobile home community on the other side of the lake. And I know I have driven by at least two more mobile home communities in the Warsaw area. I dont know the situations of those that live in the mobile home communities or if they are anything like the situations of the families that live in mobile homes back in Coal Valley, IL. Several times I have thought about going over there and talking to the people next to the youth min. building (literally our neighbors). The only thing holding me back: I do not know of anyone willing to go with me for safety reasons. I would be more than happy to go by myself, but I know that is not safe. On one occasion, my Break Out group needed to do a service project in the fall, I suggested giving candy or some form of treat or service to the people in the mobile homes; I was turned down instantly. There are many great opportunities to serve in this area: tutoring, soup kitchens, community projects, service projects, disaster relief helping, and many others. I dont know, maybe I am wrong (I hope I am wrong) but it seems like the people in the Mobile Communities might be left out. Maybe its just because I got to work in the mobile community a couple years ago, other wise I probably wouldn't be noticing right now.
I was at WalMart last night getting groceries. I was looking at the soup and a lady behind me asked if I was shopping for a family or for myself. I said I was just a college student shopping for myself. We had a small conversation about me going to Grace and how she has a child that lives near Grace now. We ended up talking about how expensive food is now days. She mentioned that they didn't have food last week; she got $200 from her husband tonight so she could get groceries. She mentioned that she has five kids and two of them live out of the house. She motioned to her cart and it was competely full with soup cans and other groceries: all of that so far came to about $96 and she still needed to get some kind of meat. Her daughter came over and I talked to her a little bit (she had gone to a concert that she won tickets for on the radio, and she was pretty excited about that).
Made me think about all of those huge, beautiful mansions that are over in Winona Lake, Warsaw, and just past Grace College. Those huge houses out by the golf courses or those houses that over-look the lake.
There is one housing division with gorgeous houses that over-look Winona Lake and some of those houses have their backs to some kind of woods. On the other side of those woods, tucked away where no one can see is a mobile home community that seems to flood very easily.
i guess these are just some of the ramblings inside of my heart & head.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
August Rush
Last night my hall (A3E) went to Fort Wayne to stay the night at my RA Cassie's house and go see a movie at the dollar theaters. I have never heard of a dollar theater before I came to Grace and I must say it is pretty amazing. My ticket was $1.50 and we all went to see August Rush. AMAZING movie!!!! The music in it is incredible and it has an awesome message about not giving up when everyone tells you your dreams won't happen. I would definately go and see the movie again (if i have money, i might buy it too). I am totally amazed by the music in it, so beautiful.
so there was a group of about four cars going last night. both of my RAs were in different cars, i drove (so i could come back at night for homework), and Rachel drove her car too. When we left the theaters, we lost Cassie and we followed Leah onto the wrong exit ramp. Not knowing this and thinking we were going the right way, Rachel and I both got in front of Leah. Leah ended up calling Rachel to tell her that she got off on the last exit because we were going the wrong way. Rachel calls me to tell me to get off the next exit and she will follow me. We drove for about 20min. and ended up EXACTLY where we started (we made a circle around the outside of Ft. Wayne). People in Rachel's car needed a drink and to go pee, so we stopped at Starbucks. Me and Paige stayed in my car while Rachel's car went inside, and it was a perfect opportunity to show our 'love' to them. :) me and paige took the left-over caution tape out of my car and wrapped Rachel's car with caution tape. They came out and saw what happened (laughing of course) and we ventured out to Cassie's house. We got there in about 35min. ok. I left about a half-hour later (Paige stayed and Jeanette came with me back home). Good times!!!
Well I need to do homework now (200 pages to read today!) but I just wanted to update my blog for those that read it (Amber and Sarah)!!!
Love ya!
so there was a group of about four cars going last night. both of my RAs were in different cars, i drove (so i could come back at night for homework), and Rachel drove her car too. When we left the theaters, we lost Cassie and we followed Leah onto the wrong exit ramp. Not knowing this and thinking we were going the right way, Rachel and I both got in front of Leah. Leah ended up calling Rachel to tell her that she got off on the last exit because we were going the wrong way. Rachel calls me to tell me to get off the next exit and she will follow me. We drove for about 20min. and ended up EXACTLY where we started (we made a circle around the outside of Ft. Wayne). People in Rachel's car needed a drink and to go pee, so we stopped at Starbucks. Me and Paige stayed in my car while Rachel's car went inside, and it was a perfect opportunity to show our 'love' to them. :) me and paige took the left-over caution tape out of my car and wrapped Rachel's car with caution tape. They came out and saw what happened (laughing of course) and we ventured out to Cassie's house. We got there in about 35min. ok. I left about a half-hour later (Paige stayed and Jeanette came with me back home). Good times!!!
Well I need to do homework now (200 pages to read today!) but I just wanted to update my blog for those that read it (Amber and Sarah)!!!
Love ya!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Humus
I got humus last night to finally try. I didn't know what kind to get for sure so I just got 'original'. The more I ate it the more I liked it. I offered it to a couple of my friends in my dorm, Aubrie was the only one who ate it and liked it. I thought about having some now actually, but decided it was too early in the morning to have humus. I will probably crave it during chapel too I guess. why is that? sometimes I wonder why we were created to have desires that repeat (does that make sense?). Maybe not even necessarily desires, but even other emotions or feelings. So many times I tell myself that I will never have that thought again or feeling again but it comes back like a boomerang.
Looked up the definition of sin on Wikipedia:
"Sin is often used to mean an action that is prohibited or considered wrong; in some religions (notably some sects of Christianity), sin can refer to a state of mind rather than a specific action. Colloquially, any thought, word, or act considered immoral, shameful, harmful, or alienating might be termed "sinful".
So does that mean that depression is a sin? Depression and thoughts of suicide? I have heard numerous times that those who are depressed are suffering a mental disability. So if depression is a sin, and all sin is equal, than is it still ok for a person to be in a leadership position or in a ministry position if they struggle with it? To have a leader who struggles with alcohol or drugs or pornography or stealing or adultery, they would be "relieved" of their position.
I am doing my speech in Public Speaking on depression. I was thinking about the cause and effect of depression and I was thinking about this. For those who struggle with months on and off of struggling with depression, not that they desire it, but it is like a boomerang.
Looked up the definition of sin on Wikipedia:
"Sin is often used to mean an action that is prohibited or considered wrong; in some religions (notably some sects of Christianity), sin can refer to a state of mind rather than a specific action. Colloquially, any thought, word, or act considered immoral, shameful, harmful, or alienating might be termed "sinful".
So does that mean that depression is a sin? Depression and thoughts of suicide? I have heard numerous times that those who are depressed are suffering a mental disability. So if depression is a sin, and all sin is equal, than is it still ok for a person to be in a leadership position or in a ministry position if they struggle with it? To have a leader who struggles with alcohol or drugs or pornography or stealing or adultery, they would be "relieved" of their position.
I am doing my speech in Public Speaking on depression. I was thinking about the cause and effect of depression and I was thinking about this. For those who struggle with months on and off of struggling with depression, not that they desire it, but it is like a boomerang.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Update!
"so much to do, and so little time to do it." sometimes i get caught looking at my schedule for the week and i feel overwhelmed. then i cant help but wonder what it will be like in 5 years. been pretty busy here but for the most part, i have been able to get at least 6 hours of sleep every night this week! :)
tomorrow i am helping out with a jr. high over-nighter. we are swimming at the high school, then bowling at a local bowling alley, coming back to the church and play games/watch movies/sleep, and then its over at 7:30am after breakfast. i am really excited for it, but right now, it just sounds very tiring. luckily, i will be done with classes by noon tomorrow, so i can nap before.
its so strange how each hour in the day goes by so slowly, but the day itself and the week go by SUPER fast.
i have more to type, but i need to either work on psychology or sleep....
until next time!
:)
tomorrow i am helping out with a jr. high over-nighter. we are swimming at the high school, then bowling at a local bowling alley, coming back to the church and play games/watch movies/sleep, and then its over at 7:30am after breakfast. i am really excited for it, but right now, it just sounds very tiring. luckily, i will be done with classes by noon tomorrow, so i can nap before.
its so strange how each hour in the day goes by so slowly, but the day itself and the week go by SUPER fast.
i have more to type, but i need to either work on psychology or sleep....
until next time!
:)
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Meme
Amber and Sarah, you two are the only ones I have on blogs and the only ones I know that will read this. lol. But if other people read them, I guess they will enjoy too!
What You Do: Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1) I am petrified of needles but am slowly getting rid of that fear. I have given blood twice so far the past two years.
2) I won 1st place in the discus at state in middle school.
3) When I was little, I wanted to be a professional athlete and help organizations like World Vision and Compassion.
4) I try not to use my left side of my body (hand, arm, leg, etc.) because I prefer using my right side better. lol. :)
5) I have stitches in my chin from when a girl bit me in basketball my first year on varsity.
6) When I am around new people I tend to act extremely hyper and outgoing.
7) I enjoy pulling pranks on people and surprises. :)
So, I don't have 7 people to tag, but here are a few:
Sarah http://littlemanbig-emery.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
Amber http://melmilee.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
What You Do: Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1) I am petrified of needles but am slowly getting rid of that fear. I have given blood twice so far the past two years.
2) I won 1st place in the discus at state in middle school.
3) When I was little, I wanted to be a professional athlete and help organizations like World Vision and Compassion.
4) I try not to use my left side of my body (hand, arm, leg, etc.) because I prefer using my right side better. lol. :)
5) I have stitches in my chin from when a girl bit me in basketball my first year on varsity.
6) When I am around new people I tend to act extremely hyper and outgoing.
7) I enjoy pulling pranks on people and surprises. :)
So, I don't have 7 people to tag, but here are a few:
Sarah http://littlemanbig-emery.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
Amber http://melmilee.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
Saturday, November 10, 2007
changing
Well, it's almost Thanksgiving break for me and it has been somewhere between 3-4 months at college. Weird for me to think I have been here that long at the same time it feels short. I am adjusting a lot better now. I haven't found anyone to really get close to or be held accountable with, but I have met a couple of girls that I hang out with pretty regularly. I went to Fort Wayne, IN last night to go shopping with two girls and that was fun (they have a huge mall in Fort Wayne and a humungous Walden Bookstore inside). Tonight I am going to help out at a Jeremy Camp concert in Fort Wayne with another girl, Ashley, from across the hall. I am anticipating a fun night again.
I have been given an amazing opportunity to help start a Jr. High para-church ministry here. It is based off of Campus Crusade for Christ and the program is called Student Venture (from what was explained, it sounds a little bit like the Xodus Team). The more I think about it, the more I feel like this is something Gog might be calling me to do. It would be a lot of work, take a lot of time, but be an awesome experience. This is really the only change that has occured since coming to college. Haven't started dating anyone yet. (lol) I am meeting several really cool people here and I have had some really good conversations too. Well, I guess I will see what this weekend and week bring me!!! ;)
I have been given an amazing opportunity to help start a Jr. High para-church ministry here. It is based off of Campus Crusade for Christ and the program is called Student Venture (from what was explained, it sounds a little bit like the Xodus Team). The more I think about it, the more I feel like this is something Gog might be calling me to do. It would be a lot of work, take a lot of time, but be an awesome experience. This is really the only change that has occured since coming to college. Haven't started dating anyone yet. (lol) I am meeting several really cool people here and I have had some really good conversations too. Well, I guess I will see what this weekend and week bring me!!! ;)
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